Sleepy

It's not that there's not enough time in the world, it's that there's too much world in the time.

I am gradually realizing that I cannot possibly do everything I want to do. Really, I can't seem to manage everything I need to do. Somebody told me once that the point of an inbox is that it's never actually empty.

I have watch tonight 'til midnight. I left my watch somewhere back home.

Excellent weekend, though. Ended up being more financially interesting than I'd anticipated, but still so worth it.

I know a good half-dozen ways to prevent falling asleep, to put off sleep when I have to do something Right Now. I don't know how to fall asleep now. In college, I could tell my body, "Kay, we're got an hour and a half before the next class," be out in five, and have a good chance of waking up before my phone's alarm clock went off. Now, I can't figure out how to fall asleep. This particularly stinks when you're this tired.

I wanted to take a nap before my watch tonight. Be all refreshed. You don't fall asleep on watch. You just don't. Unless you're going to fall on your sword while you're at it, and your relief is right next to you.

I'm not sure how much more clearly I can explain this concept to the guys. There's a reason I am not looking for a relationship, or dating, or any of the other fun concepts Facebook advertises. I'm not trying to play hard-to-get; that's the truth. The next solid chunk of time is so adventure-packed that that notion of starting a relationship induces nausea here. No, really. Yes, I absolutely need a friend right now. But it's like there's this rule that you can only know me for about two months, and then decide that you're in love. Stop it! Go away! Shoo!

The present piece of time, what I want most in life is a 24" x 72" stretch of carpet, a blanket, and a pair of jeans or something to make a pillow out of. Just, please, everyone, let me sleep!

Frankly, with my lifestyle, I think I could get mono and never know it. There's so much discipline wired in that I can't sleep through anything that I need to make, even though the notion of getting up makes me want to cry.

I'm going to get off watch tonight, and fall down on my floor, drag my blanket over, and sleep like one dead for five hours. Then get up for class. No, wait. I'll have my whites on from watch. I'll grab my shorts, THEN fall down on the floor.

I'm okay, actually. This is not a crisis, this is not even something I'm emotional about. Everyone who's worrying, stop it, or I'll put you in a box. After my nap. I'm just very tired.