This is fascinating.
There's kind of 'forgiving' someone who doesn't have their degree, or as high of a degree as you do...and then there's a kind of acceptance that doesn't care if you're there or think you're going to be worth more when you do.
There's a kind of 'forgiving' someone who isn't married, because you figure that they just haven't had the chance yet, and they'll get there eventually...and then there's being friends and just not caring and actually finding something about their single status that makes the friendship better.
Confession: This is bad. This is awful of me. But, I gotta say this.
I'm happy.
I am honestly happy working in a bookstore, and not being married, and not even being in school.
And I might honestly be happy even if I were living paycheck to paycheck, and just had my bike and my backpack and a single change of clothes.
And I'm happy without knowing what tomorrow's going to bring, or how awful it might be, or what I should have prepared for it.
So, I think I'm doing everything wrong. Because I shouldn't be able to do that, and be happy, right?
Hanging out with Faramir made something click. Because he's twenty-five, and has his degree, and he has his own apartment close enough to work to walk there, has a solid job, and is surprisingly good at guitar. And he's happy. But, cool thing about hanging out with him - he just sees me, and thinks I'm pretty. And that I'm happy. And he doesn't care about the difference in our jobs, and takes the whole living-with-the-parents thing I have better than I do (I need to move out), or the business where not only do I not have my degree, I'm not even sure anymore what I want to be doing!
It's not that I don't want to get married, ever. But, there's a lot of pressure from everyone who thinks that I'm going to be such a great mom, and really, I'm okay with how things are for the moment. And if the only way I'm going to get married is by being miserable about how things are, well, I'm probably going to be single for life.
And it's not that I don't want to be a nurse. I just wonder if I'm the right person for it. Music and kids are what I'm best with. Maybe the Navy will straighten out my brain a little
There's kind of 'forgiving' someone who doesn't have their degree, or as high of a degree as you do...and then there's a kind of acceptance that doesn't care if you're there or think you're going to be worth more when you do.
There's a kind of 'forgiving' someone who isn't married, because you figure that they just haven't had the chance yet, and they'll get there eventually...and then there's being friends and just not caring and actually finding something about their single status that makes the friendship better.
Confession: This is bad. This is awful of me. But, I gotta say this.
I'm happy.
I am honestly happy working in a bookstore, and not being married, and not even being in school.
And I might honestly be happy even if I were living paycheck to paycheck, and just had my bike and my backpack and a single change of clothes.
And I'm happy without knowing what tomorrow's going to bring, or how awful it might be, or what I should have prepared for it.
So, I think I'm doing everything wrong. Because I shouldn't be able to do that, and be happy, right?
Hanging out with Faramir made something click. Because he's twenty-five, and has his degree, and he has his own apartment close enough to work to walk there, has a solid job, and is surprisingly good at guitar. And he's happy. But, cool thing about hanging out with him - he just sees me, and thinks I'm pretty. And that I'm happy. And he doesn't care about the difference in our jobs, and takes the whole living-with-the-parents thing I have better than I do (I need to move out), or the business where not only do I not have my degree, I'm not even sure anymore what I want to be doing!
It's not that I don't want to get married, ever. But, there's a lot of pressure from everyone who thinks that I'm going to be such a great mom, and really, I'm okay with how things are for the moment. And if the only way I'm going to get married is by being miserable about how things are, well, I'm probably going to be single for life.
And it's not that I don't want to be a nurse. I just wonder if I'm the right person for it. Music and kids are what I'm best with. Maybe the Navy will straighten out my brain a little
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