The fact that God says, "Do this!" is not a promise that He'll remove all obstacles from that path.

Said task will remain possible. But, sooner or later, you might realize that it's only possible if you're doing it with Him.

Bit of a crazy backstory. This entry will be a long one. Fall before last, I moved to Wyoming. God spent the next eight months or so teaching me about a rather-overlooked command; "Do not worry." Matthew 6. Great chapter, love the chat about giving in secret, and especially the whole "Seek first the Kingdom" segment. I've read it so many times that, by now, I should be able to recite it with an accompanying dance number. Fascinating year, it was. Through a pile of wacky life experiences, "Do not worry."

Let us note that if you're being stubborn and not getting what God's telling you, He will make life much more interesting in order to get through to you. Turns out that the only way to practice this absence of worry is for life to suddenly offer a lot of circumstances that you could worry over.

Saw this in action when a certain little almost-brother of mine took a swan dive off a fence post and gave himself a concussion. His mom's taken "Do not worry," to heart. She'd lived the lifestyle that we get fed as "the good Christian girl." The idea behind it seems to be, "If you do all of this right, you will marry a good Christian husband, and life will be good for you and happy for your children."

Note: The "Prosperity Gospel" is bunk. Deeply opinionated on that, but that's a subject for another time.

Anyway, she'd followed instructions, as they were, and had indeed married a solid Christian husband. And then, four kids later, he decided that church wasn't really his thing, and to add injury to insult, divorced her. She tells us that that was when she stopped worrying. Not stopped caring, because she cares for all of us girls like a second Mom. But she stopped worrying when stuff happened, just trusting God when He told her not to worry. So, when her firstborn had just regained consciousness, she packed him and his sister (who was freaking out) into their minivan, and drove to the hospital, sans freaking.

Seeing her, calm, capable, and solidly doing what needed to be done just grabbed me (and now that I phrase it that way, reminds me of a Ski Patroller I once knew). God took almost a year to teach me this idea, and then showed me someone who lived it. Wow.

And then, rather standard for things God teaches me, there turned out to be a "next level" to this idea. Right, "don't worry," I got it. Right, "seek the kingdom of God instead"...working on it, don't have it nailed, but at least I know that seeking's supposed to come in next. Okay.

Well...there's another command. All through the Bible. Turns up a LOT. And I'd misinterpreted it every time I'd seen it.

Rejoice. Praise God. That one. Turns up over and over - someone went through and counted how many times we're told to be glad in some way, and it comes up at over 900. And here's me, I read, "Praise God," and because of the cultural upbringings, see that as the Israelite synonym for, "Yay! Yahoo!" I'd missed that it was an imperative.

In all things, rejoice. In everything, rejoice. Always rejoice.

The same week that I was talking with Ethan about how it feels to wake up in the morning, and praise God as the very first thing you do (splendid), the same week that I randomly got asked out by a guy in the coffee shop, the same week that I promised a friend I'd be at church on Saturday (not Sunday), so I heard a different sermon (about joy), and we spent over an hour hanging out after the service laughing together - God started teaching me about joy in a new way.

You'd think, with where my name comes from, that I'd be the person to go to for joy. And yeah, I throw a lot of cheer around, and find the bits of light in a situation that seems dark, and love to laugh, and various other bit of sparkly goodness that nauseate every villainess my sister's portrayed. But I'm also remarkably selfish, vain, and mean-spirited when it comes to what I think I deserve. And, not surprisingly, this is when all the joy gets sucked out.

You can all think I'm insane for this - I'm used to it (although, if you do, you've gotta admit that I'm one of the more stable, down-to-earth, matter-of-fact lunatics you know). About a week ago, God told me to pray for something pretty specific. Unfortunately for all the information bandits out there (and yes, I'm one of them), I can't really say anything about it until someone else does something specific. Just because it has to be God leading on this. It's rather a big deal. And it requires something from a few different people.

But, the crazy thing about this - one of the key figures is going to be in the military for the next six years. And, to boot, the same person also received (yes, from God again; I'm a regular Joan of Arc) another assignment to follow those six years. So, it looks as though the earliest that anything solid might come from praying about this would be...2016. Likely early summer. So, I could pray that it'll happen then. Or I could pray that God will substitute somebody else for my role in this, so that it'll happen later (yes, I know that if it doesn't involve me, it's going to be very different, but depending on how far you back the picture up, it looks the same...who am I kidding. I know I'm supposed to be in this one). Or I could pray that it happens when the next assignment is over (could conceivably happen in the middle of that one - doesn't involve the U.S. Government owning my tail to jerk around to whatever continent they wish). Or I could just pray exactly what God told me. Every day. Until it happens.

Actually, even after it happens, because this isn't like a race you run and say, "Whew! We're done!" anymore than you say, "Whew! I'm finally in shape! Done!" As long as a few of the main people involved in this adventure are still in this world, this one's going to be going on.

But, there will be some parts that are particularly discouraging.

And there will be some events that hurt.

And there will be some parts that all seem to point the opposite direction, and indicate that it couldn't have been God telling me this, and surely there's someone much better suited to this.

There's a bit of a hint for the info-hounds. There are a few different things that I'm supposed to be doing shortly after the military. Two of them involve me moving out of state again - and yes, they're two very different states. And in the case of one, I know the location rather precisely, and I can tell you that I don't think I'm at all the best person for the job, and think that someone more local should do it. And then I get reminded, if God had a better person in mind, I wouldn't be hearing about it. I'm the person God's got in mind. Fine. Okay. Makes no sense, doesn't need to make sense. Can't see how this is going to work out, God says do it, okay.

Truthfully, you don't need to see how things are going to work out, when God says they're going to. You just have to listen, and remember that He's never lied to you, so logically, if He says it's going to happen, it's going to happen. How is up to Him. And don't even bother with "Why?" I'm pretty sure a lot of my life isn't going to make sense on the "why" scale until after I get the Heaven-view on it.

*headbonk* If God assigned me the other stuff, AND He assigned me this...why do I think that the other stuff is going to get in the way of this? For all I know, they appear to be different assignments and in fact weave together in a seriously cool fashion. Even if they don't, He's not going to tell me to do one thing that makes it impossible for the other things He's told me to do.

But, there's something right now that suggested that one or two of the other Camp girls are supposed to be filling in where God told me to be. So, me being me, I of course get jealous and feel like they're threatening MY special thing.

Rationale kicks in awhile later.
They don't know about what's going on...
...and I don't know what kind of things God's assigned to them.
(This is a rough side of being a Christian. We're made to talk to each other, to confide in each other, and these are the Camp girls. There's a deeper element of trust. But just as we're all thinking, "I can't tell them that. I'm not nearly as good as they are," and, yes, we're all thinking it about everyone else, there's also, "I shouldn't tell them that. Maybe God didn't really tell me. Maybe I'm delusional, and they really know what His voice sounds like. Or maybe their assignment is more important than mine." Ethan's pointed out that Satan'll use a lot of tactics to keep us from confiding in each other, because we're a lot easier to cut down when we're riding solo.)
They're just being good. That's not a bad thing. Chill - they're being themselves - you don't even know they want this.
Also, this isn't MY thing. It's GOD'S thing. If they get this instead of me, that's God's call.
He's got something planned for each of us. There'll still be something cool that I get to do.

And then I need to go talk to the two girls (neither one goes to my church or school, so that'll take some effort), and while I don't think I can tell them about said assignment, I think I need to tell them about said jealousy and apologize, and find some way to build the relationship a little stronger. Jealousy wreaks havoc in relationships.

Because love can't live where there is no trust. Quoth Cupid.