I'm Not Allowed To Do This At Camp Anymore

Navy-acceptable PT gear leaves a lot to the imagination. So, it's not until after the workout, when my friend and I are back in the locker room, that this conversation took place.

"Hey, what happened there?"

Glance down. Annoyed expression. "Oh. That."

Expectant expression. She's noticed what appears to be two pinpricks about a fingernail's width apart, just above my clavicle.

Aggrieved sigh. "That's from right after I moved in. Like, two weeks after Boot Camp."

Nod.

"It's never going to heal."

Concerned eyebrows.

Really annoyed. "Did you know vampires exist. Like, for real? And did you know that fairies are real, too? And most importantly, did you know that it's possible to combine them???"

...she doesn't really have a chance to respond, before I go into my tirade.

"I'm sleeping, right? And then I feel this little pain, and I jerk awake, and this thing...I thought it was a bat at first - leaps off me and flies up towards the ceiling, but, dude, it's cackling. I'm not kidding - it's a fairy-sized vampire. You could wrap your hand around this thing. Creepy little monster. I tried to catch it, but y'know how when you first wake up, your reflexes don't work? Yeah! Fell out of bed, it got away out the window! Epithet!" I'm actually really worked up by this point.

Friend is really unsure whether to believe this. "So, you're mad that he sucked your blood?"

"No! I'm mad because when I die, my body becomes the undead zombie-slave to a creature the size of a hummingbird!!!"

Silence.

Silence.

"So, uh, what's that one from?" There is a rather violent purple shadow on my quad.

"Oh, that? Took a power nap during our first smoke break at ATT today, and my pen exploded."