Well, that appears to have fizzled.
However, the desired effect was produced. The original plan was to daily post something that I was thankful for - I suspect the flaw in said plan was that "daily post" part of it, as I haven't been one to daily post ANYTHING since the days of adolescent internet-addiction.
Rather, what you get is that I think of things I am thankful for through the day, and, "Oh! I should post that!" but recovering internet addicts do well to not have easy access to the world wide wubz, thus, by the time I'm online, I am pooped and wish to do nothing but look up bike routes and fantasize about making pumpkin cake.
In other news, I have a church again! I'm rather ridiculously excited about this. It's small, and half the congregation is white-haired, and on the whole seems rather understated for anything I would get involved with - and yet, it's sound, and the community is strong (small, but strong), and in general I've had my sense of what matters in a church rather revamped over the last year. It's been something of an anxiety-point to not have one.
(I am also excited because even if I can't get a ride, it's within an hour and a half to walk. Or I can take the bus, and it'll be an hour and forty-six minutes. :P)
I have a solid community, more like a bunch of friends who all pretty much live in each other's hair and pray a lot and go to the Bible when things get confusing. But, none of us are actually pastors. I was telling a girlfriend, "It's kind of like having a pickup band, where the more experienced musicians are totally willing to teach the newbies what they've learned, but none of us have actually gone to college for this." But, not a church.
When I first came to this beautiful little peninsula, I kind of just grabbed the first church that was close enough to walk to, didn't seem insane, and had people about my age. I had three weeks before taking off around the world, I needed SOME kind of community. Turned out to be a church that rocked on the serving-the-community aspect, and they were great for getting new Christians the basics, getting people started - but you could outgrow them in a hurry.
On the other hand, they also had a totally unique way of taking communion, that I kind of liked - the bread and cup are off to one side of the room, and during worship, anyone who wants to may walk over and partake. Since there are only about fifty people, tops, this doesn't really create a line - people just take turns.
Communion's important to me. Having a regular church is important to me. We've talked in our little community about what we each think about formal church, and I can respect the mindset that says, "I have a Christian community, we study the Bible, I'm growing in it, I don't need formal church," - I even tried to apply it to myself for some time. It just didn't work. Not having a church bothered me - not in a morally-wrong sort of way, more like the way it bothers me to leave the house when I still have clean laundry to put away. If I meet you for ice cream, and you personally have clean laundry back home to put away, it's not going to bother me at all.
Jewel says one of the best things about living with me is my analogies. She's right - I do use them a lot, especially when we're driving to or from work together - we have some great conversations. They're currently my means of either trying to understand or trying to explain my emotional response to something. People kept getting offended, not by what I was feeling, but what they THOUGHT I was feeling, and then when a brave soul would actually confront me, I'd be baffled. "THAT'S why you wouldn't talk to me? Dude, I didn't even NOTICE your aunt's leggings!"
I digress.
There've been two conflicting elements with the Gentleman's upcoming adventure. One is the madness of, "Okay, I have to get this, this, and this done while he's gone!" The other is, "Okay, primary human relationship is mostly on standby, this is a great time to connect with these people, and this group, and this other clique, and that whole team..." So, I'm in a weird place where I feel like I can't get all my stuff done, and that I have to use very very carefully the time I have so as to make the best connections and relationships all 'round over the next three months.
Thus, inside my brain, you see things like, "Oh! The church is doing a cider-pressing that day for Fall! Wonderful community-time and fall-stuff, I like! Wait...that's the same day as Run for a Soldier, I'm volunteering for that with Dawn. Oh, that reminds me, I need to be working up my distance so I can go hang out with the workplace Running Club, because there are some good connections to be made there - wait, the Gentleman asked me to be careful with training minimalist and go slow on increasing distance rather than hurt myself," (Dawn's our most avid runner, and managed a stress fracture in her foot while marathon-training this spring that took her out for months - Energizer was pretty bummed about it), "oh, and I also said I'd be working up my distance on biking so I can take some of the weight off Jewel for driving AND connect with the workplace Bike Club, but I also have to connect with our counselor and make sure he's okay with the Gentleman's schedule, because the church isn't okay with us having the wedding there if we're not doing 'real' counseling, and oh don't forget..." it goes on. For several pages.
But it's kind of like a big cloud of locusts or something, hovering and shimmering like they do, and meanwhile I'm this little thoughtful hamster-thing on my island munching a bag of spinach leaves, wondering what all the fuss is about. It's like I could go engage with all that mess, but I really don't see any reason why I would want to - I just handle one if it comes down and lands on my island.
And if that didn't make any sense, it was more of a brain-dump than anything else, and I'll probably be back in a week with another one.
However, the desired effect was produced. The original plan was to daily post something that I was thankful for - I suspect the flaw in said plan was that "daily post" part of it, as I haven't been one to daily post ANYTHING since the days of adolescent internet-addiction.
Rather, what you get is that I think of things I am thankful for through the day, and, "Oh! I should post that!" but recovering internet addicts do well to not have easy access to the world wide wubz, thus, by the time I'm online, I am pooped and wish to do nothing but look up bike routes and fantasize about making pumpkin cake.
In other news, I have a church again! I'm rather ridiculously excited about this. It's small, and half the congregation is white-haired, and on the whole seems rather understated for anything I would get involved with - and yet, it's sound, and the community is strong (small, but strong), and in general I've had my sense of what matters in a church rather revamped over the last year. It's been something of an anxiety-point to not have one.
(I am also excited because even if I can't get a ride, it's within an hour and a half to walk. Or I can take the bus, and it'll be an hour and forty-six minutes. :P)
I have a solid community, more like a bunch of friends who all pretty much live in each other's hair and pray a lot and go to the Bible when things get confusing. But, none of us are actually pastors. I was telling a girlfriend, "It's kind of like having a pickup band, where the more experienced musicians are totally willing to teach the newbies what they've learned, but none of us have actually gone to college for this." But, not a church.
When I first came to this beautiful little peninsula, I kind of just grabbed the first church that was close enough to walk to, didn't seem insane, and had people about my age. I had three weeks before taking off around the world, I needed SOME kind of community. Turned out to be a church that rocked on the serving-the-community aspect, and they were great for getting new Christians the basics, getting people started - but you could outgrow them in a hurry.
On the other hand, they also had a totally unique way of taking communion, that I kind of liked - the bread and cup are off to one side of the room, and during worship, anyone who wants to may walk over and partake. Since there are only about fifty people, tops, this doesn't really create a line - people just take turns.
Communion's important to me. Having a regular church is important to me. We've talked in our little community about what we each think about formal church, and I can respect the mindset that says, "I have a Christian community, we study the Bible, I'm growing in it, I don't need formal church," - I even tried to apply it to myself for some time. It just didn't work. Not having a church bothered me - not in a morally-wrong sort of way, more like the way it bothers me to leave the house when I still have clean laundry to put away. If I meet you for ice cream, and you personally have clean laundry back home to put away, it's not going to bother me at all.
Jewel says one of the best things about living with me is my analogies. She's right - I do use them a lot, especially when we're driving to or from work together - we have some great conversations. They're currently my means of either trying to understand or trying to explain my emotional response to something. People kept getting offended, not by what I was feeling, but what they THOUGHT I was feeling, and then when a brave soul would actually confront me, I'd be baffled. "THAT'S why you wouldn't talk to me? Dude, I didn't even NOTICE your aunt's leggings!"
I digress.
There've been two conflicting elements with the Gentleman's upcoming adventure. One is the madness of, "Okay, I have to get this, this, and this done while he's gone!" The other is, "Okay, primary human relationship is mostly on standby, this is a great time to connect with these people, and this group, and this other clique, and that whole team..." So, I'm in a weird place where I feel like I can't get all my stuff done, and that I have to use very very carefully the time I have so as to make the best connections and relationships all 'round over the next three months.
Thus, inside my brain, you see things like, "Oh! The church is doing a cider-pressing that day for Fall! Wonderful community-time and fall-stuff, I like! Wait...that's the same day as Run for a Soldier, I'm volunteering for that with Dawn. Oh, that reminds me, I need to be working up my distance so I can go hang out with the workplace Running Club, because there are some good connections to be made there - wait, the Gentleman asked me to be careful with training minimalist and go slow on increasing distance rather than hurt myself," (Dawn's our most avid runner, and managed a stress fracture in her foot while marathon-training this spring that took her out for months - Energizer was pretty bummed about it), "oh, and I also said I'd be working up my distance on biking so I can take some of the weight off Jewel for driving AND connect with the workplace Bike Club, but I also have to connect with our counselor and make sure he's okay with the Gentleman's schedule, because the church isn't okay with us having the wedding there if we're not doing 'real' counseling, and oh don't forget..." it goes on. For several pages.
But it's kind of like a big cloud of locusts or something, hovering and shimmering like they do, and meanwhile I'm this little thoughtful hamster-thing on my island munching a bag of spinach leaves, wondering what all the fuss is about. It's like I could go engage with all that mess, but I really don't see any reason why I would want to - I just handle one if it comes down and lands on my island.
And if that didn't make any sense, it was more of a brain-dump than anything else, and I'll probably be back in a week with another one.
No comments:
Post a Comment